I just wrote about turning 30 last week and on the 21st, it marked 7 months since we lost my sister Rachel. So crossing over into the 30’s was one thing but swallowing the fact that my middle sister is not here to celebrate with me just ripped me apart.
I woke up that morning and it hit me, “Has it seriously been 7 months since I have spoken to Rach?” That’s all I could think about all day.
I’ve been going back and forth about writing about what happened, what I felt, how our family got through the storm and I haven’t been ready until now. I’ve found things of Rachel’s over the course of the 7 months that show just how strong her faith was and that everything really does happen for a reason. I also read this blog post today by Christy Simmons who lost her son two weeks ago. My heart broke as I read the post but knew exactly how she felt and her words are exactly what comes out of my mom’s mouth every day since Rachel’s accident.
I’ve thought about what to say and so many things come to mind that I will just have to write a ton of posts to explain everything. I stumbled across Christy’s blog and hopefully whoever stumbles across this post or upcoming posts can find some comfort and/or wisdom from what my family and I have been through.
3 Weeks Before
I want to start with 3 weeks before Rachel passed away. Something was telling me to call her and go see her for the weekend. She was originally going to Orlando but decided to stay in Tampa and let me come crash her weekend. We planned to go get dinner, see a movie, do some shopping and kick back like we liked to do on the weekends. Leah (my youngest sister) must have felt the same thing I was feeling because she called both Rach and I that week for no reason except to just say she loves us (still have the voicemail on my phone). We started the night with a sushi dinner and we talked about seeing a movie but we both agreed we just wanted to go in the pub and grab a drink instead. We grabbed a cider and sat there talking about the trips we’ve been on, trips we wanted to take, funny stories from childhood and to be honest it was the perfect conversation.
We made our way to the mall and started shopping, well more of entertainment shopping…
We headed home, she played some ridiculous song that we danced to in the car while laughing so hard we almost peed. I had brought up a mattress for her guest bedroom but we didn’t feel like putting it together so we ended up sleeping in her bed. We laughed and shared more stories until we feel asleep. It was the perfect weekend. I left that Saturday evening and gave her a huge hug before driving away. She stood there and watched me as I drove away just waving like the big goof ball that she was.
3 weeks later, I got a phone call that changed mine and my family’s life forever. I won’t go into detail about that yet, I’ll save it for another post BUT my main reason in telling you this story is simple. When something is telling you to do something, don’t ignore it. I now know the Lord was giving me the nudge to go see her, even Leah would tell you the same thing. When you think about someone and want to call, call. When you think about sending a text just to say hi, send the text. Leah and I said this at the funeral and constantly tell others to hug people you love every chance you get. I use to tell people that life is short because it’s so easy to say it but now I can honestly say life is way too short. Many ask me why I am able to talk about this after just 7 months or even a few weeks after but I got through it because God carried my family and I through it all (as He still is). When you hear people say that they literally can feel the grace being poured over them, we all felt that even the day of the funeral. I’m sure many think it was all a big blur for me and sure there were some foggy times but I can remember every minute of it all and tell you exactly what I felt in that moment.
I’ve seen the way that the Lord is using our family and Rachel’s story with those around us, it’s evident and clear He has a master plan that we can’t see. I want to share Rachel’s story because it’s a good one and I know that even if one person benefits from something that I say, it’s worth it.
Know this, God is good.
More to come very soon… and if you have lost someone and need to chat then by all means don’t hesitate to contact me.
P.S. here’s something that will make your day and that I can totally relate to through this: Sister writes her brother a note and sends it to heaven with balloons.