I’ve been staring at a blank page for a few days wondering what I should post and today as I walked across our office property, a cool breeze went by my face…
It completely took me back to something I read a week after Rachel passed away:
A Letter From Heaven
To my dearest family, some things I’d like to say,
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay.
I’m writing this from Heaven, where I dwell with God above,
Where there are no tears or sadness, there is just eternal Love.
Please do not be unhappy, just because I’m out of sight,
Remember that I’m with you, every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me, and said, ” I welcome you”.
“It’s good to have you back again.
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they’ll be here later on.
I need you here so badly as part of my big plan.
There’s so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man”.
Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do.
And foremost on that list of mine, is to watch and care for you.
I will be beside you, every day of the week and year,
And when you’re sad I’m standing there, to wipe away the tear.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day’s chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth, and all those loving years,
Because you’re only human, there’s bound to be some tears.
One thing is for certain, though my life on Earth is over,
I am closer to you now than I ever was before.
And to my many friends, trust God knows what is best.
I am not far away from you, I’m just beyond the crest.
There are rocky roads ahead for you and many hills to climb,
Together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was my philosophy and please I’d like for you,
To give unto the world, so the world will give to you.
If you can help someone who’s in sorrow or in pain,
Then you can say to God at night, my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
When you’re walking down the street and I am on your mind,
I’m walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.
And when you feel a gentle breeze of wind upon your face,
That’s me giving you a great big hug, or just a soft embrace.
When it’s time for you to go from that body to be free,
Remember you are not going, you are coming home to me.
I will always love you, from that place way up above,
I will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends his love.
Pretty great right? I thought so too.
There’s a house we always use to pass as we enter our parent’s neighborhood that Rachel would always look over at. I finally asked her one day why she always looked at that house and she said, “You see that little boy right there? He lost his brother in a car accident. One of the sweetest kids I know and I can’t imagine what it would be like losing a sibling.”
Each time I drive into my parents neighborhood now I glance at that house as the boy plays outside and now I know exactly how he feels. But in all truth it’s an everyday reminder that each person has something in their life they’re dealing with too – I’m not alone.
It’s amazing the things you see around you that remind you of someone you miss especially when they’re gone. Leah and I flew to Atlanta to see our cousins in November and when we walked outside to wait for them to pick us up, we both looked to our left at the same time to see a girl standing by her suitcase and both of our hearts dropped. She looked just like Rachel, curly brown hair pulled up, biting her lip as she did when she was focused on something, same build and everything.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my sister and miss her like crazy. I won’t lie to you either that anger creeps in occasionally too where you question everything again when knowing that He has a plan with it all. As a human it just doesn’t feel right and we can’t comprehend it. You ever go for a run and constantly think about things as you make your way down the sidewalk? We’re human – we worry, constantly. Every time I start to worry about things on a run I seem to have this same thing happen to me over and over…
….a warm light comes through the trees with a small breeze. The sun hits and warms my skin and it’s an immediate comfort feeling of, “It’s okay, I got this.” Its just a reminder that God is always there even when you feel like He’s not. (The photo is on a run from not too long ago where I was thinking exactly what I just told you)
For those of you who know Rachel, you know she was crazy and never short of hilarious. She had this pet goat named “chewy” who apparently acted as a dog and would listen to her commands (no lie). I often watch these videos she had on her phone just to hear her talk to a goat and of course her laugh. So for those of you who know her, enjoy this and for those who don’t know her then here’s a very small glimpse of just how Rachel made us laugh.
(click link and give it a minute to load)