Today is a special day, my sister Rachel would have been 28 years old. I’ve been meaning to finish this but I know this is perfect timing because I started writing what I’ve learned each year (on her bday) since the accident. This is the first time I’m going to share it with you though so here we go….
What does that word mean to you and what is your definition of it? It’s a powerful word that I have been hearing over and over especially the past few years. Many look at my family and I’s situation as a terrible thing and that we are the ones hurting. Don’t get me wrong, it’s something nobody should go through and an unbearable pain but I also gained something just as I lost something – perspective.
A few years before Rachel passed away, I had a friend that lost their best friend unexpectedly in a tragic accident. I was upset and confused on how a young, good looking and awesome guy could leave this earth with so many years left to live. My friend quickly picked up and moved away for a few months to Alaska to get away. I never truly understood it and part of me thought what is he running away from? What it boiled down to is that I couldn’t assume anything because I was not in his shoes. Fast forward to July 2012 and I knew exactly why he left. You see, what I have learned is that everyone grieves differently and you cannot judge them for it, even your own family. My dad and I are exactly alike but even we grieve differently.
I was recently in a lawyers office and the lady in the office lost a family member. When I asked how she was doing, she replied with “I’m hanging in there.” I told her the same thing I just told you and said to her, “I understand what you’re going through and let me tell you why.” She said, “oh that situation is worse than mine.” And I replied back to her, “No, a death is a death.” Sure someone may look at someone else and think they have it worse than this person but in all truth every situation can hurt, especially when we all deal with it completely differently. I also start to see where God puts me in situations where I get the chance to talk to someone that I can relate with about what I’ve been through. At first it was strange but now it’s comforting (laughing as I’m at a lawyers office but my main reason to be there was talk to her). Perspective.