I just wrote about turning 30 last week and on the 21st, it marked 7 months since we lost my sister Rachel. So crossing over into the 30’s was one thing but swallowing the fact that my middle sister is not here to celebrate with me just ripped me apart.

I woke up that morning and it hit me, “Has it seriously been 7 months since I have spoken to Rach?” That’s all I could think about all day.

I’ve been going back and forth about writing about what happened, what I felt, how our family got through the storm and I haven’t been ready until now. I’ve found things of Rachel’s over the course of the 7 months that show just how strong her faith was and that everything really does happen for a reason. I also read this blog post today by Christy Simmons who lost her son two weeks ago. My heart broke as I read the post but knew exactly how she felt and her words are exactly what comes out of my mom’s mouth every day since Rachel’s accident.

I’ve thought about what to say and so many things come to mind that I will just have to write a ton of posts to explain everything. I stumbled across Christy’s blog and hopefully whoever stumbles across this post or upcoming posts can find some comfort and/or wisdom from what my family and I have been through.

3 Weeks Before

I want to start with 3 weeks before Rachel passed away. Something was telling me to call her and go see her for the weekend. She was originally going to Orlando but decided to stay in Tampa and let me come crash her weekend. We planned to go get dinner, see a movie, do some shopping and kick back like we liked to do on the weekends. Leah (my youngest sister) must have felt the same thing I was feeling because she called both Rach and I that week for no reason except to just say she loves us (still have the voicemail on my phone). We started the night with a sushi dinner and we talked about seeing a movie but we both agreed we just wanted to go in the pub and grab a drink instead. We grabbed a cider and sat there talking about the trips we’ve been on, trips we wanted to take, funny stories from childhood and to be honest it was the perfect conversation.

Rach and I getting ready to dive into some sushi.

We made our way to the mall and started shopping, well more of entertainment shopping…

Always goofing off at every chance we could.

We headed home, she played some ridiculous song that we danced to in the car while laughing so hard we almost peed. I had brought up a mattress for her guest bedroom but we didn’t feel like putting it together so we ended up sleeping in her bed. We laughed and shared more stories until we feel asleep. It was the perfect weekend. I left that Saturday evening and gave her a huge hug before driving away. She stood there and watched me as I drove away just waving like the big goof ball that she was.

3 weeks later, I got a phone call that changed mine and my family’s life forever. I won’t go into detail about that yet, I’ll save it for another post BUT my main reason in telling you this story is simple. When something is telling you to do something, don’t ignore it. I now know the Lord was giving me the nudge to go see her, even Leah would tell you the same thing. When you think about someone and want to call, call. When you think about sending a text just to say hi, send the text. Leah and I said this at the funeral and constantly tell others to hug people you love every chance you get. I use to tell people that life is short because it’s so easy to say it but now I can honestly say life is way too short. Many ask me why I am able to talk about this after just 7 months or even a few weeks after but I got through it because God carried my family and I through it all (as He still is). When you hear people say that they literally can feel the grace being poured over them, we all felt that even the day of the funeral. I’m sure many think it was all a big blur for me and sure there were some foggy times but I can remember every minute of it all and tell you exactly what I felt in that moment.

I’ve seen the way that the Lord is using our family and Rachel’s story with those around us, it’s evident and clear He has a master plan that we can’t see. I want to share Rachel’s story because it’s a good one and I know that even if one person benefits from something that I say, it’s worth it.

Know this, God is good.

More to come very soon… and if you have lost someone and need to chat then by all means don’t hesitate to contact me.

P.S. here’s something that will make your day and that I can totally relate to through this: Sister writes her brother a note and sends it to heaven with balloons. 

1. You can’t predict a game. Too many times we try and predict what might happen in life but in all truth, we have no clue. Life is meant to be full of ups and downs, that’s what makes it “life.” Stop trying predict what’s going to happen next and live in the moment because it might be all that you have.

2. One stupid mistake can cost you the game. You live and learn. One mistake could completely change your life in an instant. Life is not perfect, learn from your mistakes and don’t make them again. You don’t want to live your life always wondering why you made the mistake in the first place. Always remember this, “Don’t get into a car that doesn’t have any brakes.” 

If you asked me back in high school what I wanted to do when I got older, I would shrug my shoulders and not have a clue but I definitely said, “I don’t want to work in the family business.” I’d like to think it was partly because of the teenage years where you think you know everything is why I said that because my family is awesome. It’s just amusing now considering I’m doing exactly what I said I wasn’t going to whether it was teenage inspired or not.

Family business was not in the cards.

I went off to college on a volleyball scholarship which at that point was the main reason I wanted to go to school because for some reason I didn’t think it would ever end (again possibly teenage inspired). Sports was what I was good at and having the athletic talent that I do is something I’m just truly blessed with. When I met with my counselors at college they told me about all of these classes I had to take just to get started and then asked me, “What do you see yourself majoring in?” I just sat there and then I blurted out, “Physical Therapy,” while thinking to myself, “What did I just say?!” I guess since sports was the only thing on my mind it seemed like the thing to do or at least look into it. Who knows.

As freshman year went on, I was talking to one of our volleyball trainers about what I was attempting to start majoring in. She immediately says to me, “Girl, you are not going to make any money unless you go here or here.” And of course being 19 I was thinking well that’s it for me, I guess I need to switch asap. Well of course I didn’t because volleyball was my life at the moment, literally. It wasn’t until someone made me realize (stay tuned for another story about this later) a skill that I had which led me to my next course to major in, broadcasting.

This is a different post from what I normally write about but it’s pretty close to my heart considering it’s about my pup Chase. For some reason it hit me that I need to share information that I’ve learned about dogs with allergies with any of you trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with your dog. It took me almost 2 years to figure out why Chase would itch so bad and literally lose hair when vets would just want to give him a steroid shot to numb it. We all know that’s not the way to solve it and it’s not good for an animal.

I got Chase about 5 years ago from my family for my birthday. We grew up with dogs and it was just in our blood to have one around. I had always told my parents I wanted to get a puppy after I got out of college. Well, they surprised me the night of my birthday and took me to pick out a puppy from a 13 golden retriever litter from TN. Now any dog lover is going to look at this group of puppies and want ALL of them but there was one that just stuck out immediately and would not leave my side. He was the one.

Chase was an awesome puppy never chewing on anything, messing up in the house or even barking at everything he saw. The only thing was that as he started to hit 6 months to a year old, he was missing hair, had ear infections and could not stop itching. I took him to the vet that the family took the animals to and he said it was just an allergy to food and made me buy some ridiculous $90 a bag food. Chase didn’t like the food for one and he still itched. I took him back and the vet gave him a steroid shot and some steroid spray to help with the pain/itching. That relieved it for a short time but it kept coming back and I was not about to spend another $40 on getting the little bitty spray bottle.